On the cusp

This week was relatively big in V's development.  She started standing by herself (no hands) in short bursts and started walking using a push along stroller.  It's so funny to see this tiny little person who is barely 17 pounds "walking" around.  (I use the term walking very loosely).

Sometimes I get so sad that I don't get to stay home with her full time.  The day care teachers didn't want to tell me she was standing by herself b/c they didn't want to ruin it for me.  So sweet of them.  I have a sneaking feeling I may actually miss her first official step, but thanks to the teachers, I'll never know about it and will get to experience it on my own at home. 

V is so funny these days.  She has a mountain of toys but the things that really strike her fancy are all the things she's not allowed to play with - remotes, cell phones, table eating, tissue boxes - your standard no no's.  Here is a pic of V left to her own accords and the resulting mess.

Wha?  It wasn't me.

Sitting still - an exercise in futility

This week V ventured back to school.  I, however, didn't fair as well, and was sick most of the week.  I can't remember the last time I was this sick.  I thought I was on the mend from the previous week, but then on Sunday night, I got the chills so bad, I thought we had teleported to the North Pole.  And then two hours later, my body produced so much water sweat, E had to evacuate the bed.  He had to migrate to V's room to sleep on the daybed so that I could sleep on the dry patch that was left on his side.

For a while there, I thought I caught some wild jungle monkey disease that was passed on to me from my child which she in turn caught from school, but in retrospect, I think it was a combination of 9 months of being completely run down, still nursing, and the worst allergy season in years.  My sinuses are less than thrilled. Another post about snot and being sick - so riveting.  Sadly however, that seems to be a recurring theme around here. 

We tried to take some 9 month pictures of V with her bear, but she's a woman on the move and will not stay still for anything.  So, the below is our attempt to take her growth progress pics.  Hard to tell as her sole purpose during this shoot was to climb off the chair.  We did sneak a couple of semi good shots in, but the girl's running circles around us already. 

Hi Mommy!  Try and take my picture!

I think I want to go to the edge here.

Um.. okay - now I'll hide behind Mr. Bear.

Fine - thumb in the mouth.

Um - I think I want to go to the edge again.

You want me to do what???  Don't worry Mr. Bear. I won't leave you.

No!  I want off this chair!

Maybe if I try it this way..  Sorry Mr. B.  It's every man for himself around these here parts.

Kamikaze!

Okay okay Mommy!  Get your shot. But I'm not sitting up straight.

And enough of that.

Oh Mommy.. You'll never learn.. 

Again?!?!?!

Um... ok... (The)Croup..  I know it's been hard on you since we broke up.  I know you've spent many restless nights tossing and turning, thinking up ways to get back into my life, but this? This is not good.  This is borderline psychotic, crazy stalker ex-boyfriend, and we both know you're better than that.  So, let's part ways peacefully and I won't ruin your rep with the other ladies. 

Miss V is sick.. again.  This is the third time she's been croupy and it's heart-wrenching. She was a total trooper though this weekend through Easter and my mom's and grandpa's birthday party at our house.  She was a little cranky, but did well overall. 

Friday during lunch, V and I went to go visit my good friend T and her family.  Her daugher A is 4 and loved playing with V.  She was so curious about her and wanted to show her all her toys and was asking all sorts of questions about her.   Here are some pics of the girls together.

Friday night, E, his dad and his dad's fiance grilled stakes and painted Easter eggs.  We tried the fancy shmancy paints that you put in a bag and roll the eggs around in, and the finished product wasn't as good as the old-fashioned dipping in water way.  Here's the result.  Note the bruised egg repaired with duct tape.  It suffered a broken shell in the beautifying process and needed a little something extra to make it feel special. 

Mine are the pretty sparkly ones....

Then Saturday we went to V's friend D's 1st birthday party and then later in the evening had my family over for a double birthday celebration.  Both birthday parties were tons o' fun.  The girls (D & V) were so stinkin' cute playing with each other.  They've known each other since they were 3 1/2 months and 6 weeks old, respectively and are the best of buddies.

What's that??

Then Sunday, V got dolled up in her Sunday best and we went to Church for and then to Aunt E's and Uncle N's for Easter.  This is where things started to go down hill for V and (the)croup, but she hung in there until after we got home, at which time she puked all over herself and the changing table.  She was so so tired and wanted to sleep so bad, but just kept coughing and choking and finally just threw up.  (On a serious note, it's so hard to watch your child choking to throw up the phlegm that (the)croup has so graciously left inside her throat.  It scares her and it scares mommy even more.  We're not fans!)

Miss sick eyes.

Happy Easter everybody!

I have more pics from Easter, but they're in Mimi's camera, so I must patiently wait until she sends them to me.

So now, V's asleep, but if I was a bettin' woman, I would say the odds are against her sleeping through the night in her room.  We shall see. 

Here are some pics of V from Saturday night.  We're going to have another professional photo shoot with Uncle N next weekend and V and I both can't wait!

Does it get easier? I would guess no, but more rewarding? Definitely.

Just as I'm used to having an infant, V is on the cusp of crawling.  And my life is once again about to change.  I try not to compare her development to other kids b/c when I did, I found it exhausting.  I was constantly worried about what she was or wasn't accomplishing, whether or not she was reaching for her toys, smiling when she was supposed to, turning her head at various sounds, and the list goes on and on.  So, I made a decision to just let her be a baby and enjoy her.  Now I'm finding myself struggling with the same issues I had when I first had her.  She's so much more alert.  She takes in the world around her and now I constantly question myself if I'm doing enough for her.  Am I hindering her development b/c I don't read enough to her, don't have enough toys for her, don't spend enough time with her, she doesn't get enough tummy time, or she doesn't practice her sitting enough?  In a weird sad way, day care has been my saving grace b/c I feel that there she gets the social interaction and other developmental help that I may not provide for her b/c of my lack of knowledge of what to provide.  Motherhood really doesn't come with instructions, and it's the most complicated, non stop job I've ever had.   But I don't want to sound that I don't absolutely love it.   I do.  My life is forever changed by this little girl, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else.  Her smell, her sounds, her laugh, and even her cries are more precious to me than anything else I've ever encountered.