When things get desperate

Fall is here.  I used to love fall.  Until I had a child.  Now fall is the start of cold/flu season.  I still revel in the cool crisp air, but some things will just never be the same.

That said, V has her first (of many to come) colds of the season.  Her colds come on fast and furious.  She's okay and then within minutes, full blown snot, coughing, sea lion moving in, etc.  That's exactly what happened Saturday.  I could tell things were starting to head down hill when she woke up from her afternoon nap. 

Girl. Was. Cranky.  I'm not typically a fan of giving her dr*gs, but short of calling a priest for an exorcism, Tylenol was my next best option. 
The dr*gs did their job, and within 20 minutes, I had my happy little girl back.  But that's the problem with dr*gs..  They just mask. 

7:30 PM - we do our usual gig, bath, book, b**b (still nursing once a day - I'm hooked more than she is, but I digress) and V was off to dream land. 

8:30 PM - screams of desperation are heard from her room.  Typically I let her cry it out, but I knew this was not one of those times.  I go in to scope out "the situation" (Note:  this is not a reference to Jersey Shore's situation, which I do not watch, and only know about through Regis & Kelly, various social medias, and Dancing with the Stars). 
V is CONGESTED!  Girl can barely can't breathe out her nose and the excessive crying and sniffling is not helping a sista out. 

I clean out her nose and try to get her to go back to sleep.  She just lays there looking at me with longing eyes.  "Please don't leave me mommy" eyes.  I sit next to her crib, with my arm hanging over the side, and pat. And pat.  20 minutes later I can't feel my arm.  I have to use the ladies room.  I think - maybe she's asleep now.  Her eyes ARE closed.  I quietly walk away.  Before I even reach her door, Whaaaa, whaaa. whaaa..  What???? How does she know that?!  Girl's got skills.  I still have to pee like a race horse.  E comes in to relieve me.  She's not too particular, but still wales for Mommy.

I come back.  We go through the pats again.  Arm is dead.  Again. Back is killing me.  I may pass out.  And then I get desperate. 

V is still systematically checking to make sure I'm there.  So, I do what any other overly tired, desperate resourceful mother would do, on a Saturday night, at 9 PM?  I climb in the crib with her.  Not too bad.  A little hard for my taste, but at least I am not losing feeling in any of my appendages.  This makes V very happy.  And this is when she melts my heart.  She laid there with this look of total content, kept trying to hold me and climb on top of me to sleep.  I did have to draw the line somewhere and she ended up falling asleep just next to me. 

Next I worried what kind of psychological damage I would do to this child now that she thinks that Mommy is here and Mommy won't be there when she wakes up.  Thankfully, she's been blessed with great sleeping skills.  I laid there for a good 20, maybe 30 minutes.  You know, to make sure she was nice and asleep.  When I climbed out of the crib, V was snoring (due to the excessive mucus) and didn't even budge.  Mission accomplished!  She did wake up again around 4:30 am.  Daddy stepped up to the plate though and took the late shift.  Thank you Daddy!! I don't think I saw him again in bed till circa 6:30 am. 

So, what does this little diddy of a story tell us?  That mothers will do crazy things to comfort their children and that an infant crib will semi comfortably fit a desperate mother.  Thank you Graco!

A hooligan in the making and a lesson in the digestive system

Yesterday I got a call from school around 3:30 pm.  A call from school is never a good thing in the middle of the day, especially when two kids went home with a fever the previous day .  I nervously picked up the phone.. The conversation went as follows:

Teacher: Hi Ms. J.  V had a little accident.

Me: Oh no. What happened?

Teacher: She's okay, she's okay.  She was trying to get to a toy and pushed Fred* out the way to get to it. He tried to balance himself and his head slammed into her teeth. 

Me: Oh my gosh!  Is HE okay?  (My first thought was next I'm going to get a phone call from his mother ripping me a new one that my daughter was bullying her son)

Teacher:  Yes, yes.  He's okay.  She got the worst of it.  Her lip is swollen, but no blood.  So, everyone's okay. We just wanted to call and inform you.

Me: Did you put her in time out?

Teacher:  We don't put them in time out for hitting or pushing.  Only for biting.

(Me thinking): Um.. okay.  Makes perfect sense..

Me: Did you at least tell her no?

Teacher: Yes.  We told her hitting hurts.

Me;  Yes - please definitely tell her no if she does that again.  She knows she's not supposed to hit or push.

Teacher:  Yes, we will.  Have a good day

When I picked V up from school, I made her give Fred* a kiss.  He is now smitten and all is forgiven. 

*Names have been changed to protect the inncocents' identity

But on a serious note.. Um.. what?  My child is a bully! Oh no!  I frantically did some research and found that at this age this is actually normal developmental behaviour, but no child of mine will be mean to others! So, we came home and had a talk about not pushing or hitting and giving kisses and hugs instead.  I think V understood.  She planted a wet one on her reflection in the mirror later that evening. 

In other news...

As a first time mom, you experience a variety of things that you otherwise would have never had the joy to experience.  One of the more intriguing, yet gross, things you learn, is that food, if not chewed property (who am I kidding - swallowed whole) will make its way all through the digestive tract unscathed.  WARNING: If you have an aversion to poop, read no more. 

While changing V's diaper last night, which by the way smells like a spill at a nuclear plant, I got a front row seat to yesterdays (I'm assuming) lunch.  Whole corn kernels, still nice and yellow, and quite plump I might add, and chunks of pineapple, also nice and yellow and plump.  Who knew that corn and pineapple, when swallowed whole and in a hurry, will come out looking brand spanking new on the other side.  Although I consistently feel like my brain has shrunk and most of the useful information I once possessed is gone since I've had her, now that I am equipped with this knowledge of the digestive system, I will go far!