Friday, January 29, 2010

Does it get easier? I would guess no, but more rewarding? Definitely.

Just as I'm used to having an infant, V is on the cusp of crawling.  And my life is once again about to change.  I try not to compare her development to other kids b/c when I did, I found it exhausting.  I was constantly worried about what she was or wasn't accomplishing, whether or not she was reaching for her toys, smiling when she was supposed to, turning her head at various sounds, and the list goes on and on.  So, I made a decision to just let her be a baby and enjoy her.  Now I'm finding myself struggling with the same issues I had when I first had her.  She's so much more alert.  She takes in the world around her and now I constantly question myself if I'm doing enough for her.  Am I hindering her development b/c I don't read enough to her, don't have enough toys for her, don't spend enough time with her, she doesn't get enough tummy time, or she doesn't practice her sitting enough?  In a weird sad way, day care has been my saving grace b/c I feel that there she gets the social interaction and other developmental help that I may not provide for her b/c of my lack of knowledge of what to provide.  Motherhood really doesn't come with instructions, and it's the most complicated, non stop job I've ever had.   But I don't want to sound that I don't absolutely love it.   I do.  My life is forever changed by this little girl, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else.  Her smell, her sounds, her laugh, and even her cries are more precious to me than anything else I've ever encountered.


  1. YOU are doing great, I am sure of it. It is the hardest thing ever to be a mom and guilt comes along with it. Let's get together soon and catch up!

  2. I had, still have and am sure will continue to have the exact same worries. I'm sure you're doing great!

  3. Don't be so hard on yourself! Simply the fact that you are concerned about these issues means you are a better parent than most! I remember feeling guilty whenever I let Demi stay in the swing... now I wish she still liked to swing!

    I've loosened up since Demi started crawling... it's next to impossible to keep her from playing with anything or putting everything in her mouth... I still draw the line at shoes, however!